Excerpts for Open to Hope:

Dr. Gloria Horsley, PhD, MS CNS

Grief Reactions: The Four R's

"After thousands of interviews with the bereaved, I have identified the four thought processes that I believe drive our reactions to grief. I call them the Four R's: Restitution, Reconciliation, Reality, and Reunion.

"Depending on where you are in your recovery, your thought processes will influence the goals you set. And you will set goals. As humans, we are hardwired to problem solve and set goals. We continually try to get a handle on our loss by telling our story to others, daydreaming, and dreaming about what's occurred."

Reality - Searching for a New Normal

"Are you at the point where you have given up on the idea that you can reclaim your old life? Are you tired of your anger and resentment causing health issues? Are you weary of your own stories of how and why your loved one died? Are you tired of trying to balance the books by blaming yourself, God, and others? Are you beginning to feel that there must be more to life?

"If your answers are "Yes," I ask you to take a leap of faith and join me in taking a hard look at Reality." This step can be a tough one to take, but it is necessary for your healing, and it is a life changer."

"There is a certain strength that comes with knowing that even though the bombs of life are falling all around you, you aren't required to collapse; and you can use this knowledge as power that give you the ability to rise above the ashes."

"Because of my jangled mind, it took me some time to realize what I had really done to survive. It was no accident. I had a plan, born, I suppose, of desperation. The thing is, I didn't realize I had a plan until I was in the midst of using it."

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore, PhD

Gratitude as the Antidote to Grief

"When we allow the experience of gratitude, the heart may still be broken, but the heart is also most full, most whole, and most complete."

Catherine Tidd, Founder of www.theWiddahood.com

Shhhh... Listen Closely. It's the Sound of Someone Healing

"You would think after experiencing the death of my husband, that I would be one of those people who knew what to say when someone else was going through something similar. That I would have some magical words of comfort. That I would finally know the secret handshake that gets you into the National Grievers Society and thereby bestows upon you everything you need to know about healing others. That I wouldn't be as stupid as some of the people I have encountered during my meandering walk through the Grief Canyon. Yup, you'd think."

Dr. Howard Winokeur, PhD, LPC, NCC and Dr. Heidi Horsley, PsyD, LMSW, MS

Help Grieving Children Know They Are Not Alone

"Talking to your child about death can be one of the most significant life events that you will participate in. Children are very resilient, and although a sibling loss may define your child's life, it will in no way destroy his life. Your child will forever miss his sibling, but in time, he will find new ways to incorporate him or her into his life through continuing bonds. It is important to honor the grief that your child experiences and validate that grief through your care and presence.

"By doing this, you can make a significant difference in his life. Remember that your openness may help decrease your child's fear and that being there for your child is the most important thing that you can do."